A happy (Jewish?) Christmas

To those enjoying great abundance with family and friends over the coming Days of Christmas, I can feel the warmth of your collective love and celebration radiating from here. I wish you and yours all my love for a glorious happy time. 

To my friends and family who are working, sacrificing precious time away from loved ones over the holidays, know that you are loved and cherished and missed. Even if everyone is not reaching out, they are remembering and appreciating you. 

To each of my dear friends and family who may or may not be alone over these Days of Christmas, but feel especially Sad, Lonely, Down, or Melancholy—I’ve got you. May my never ending capacity for Love wash over you. May you feel relief in random moments of imagination, creativity and curiosity. Text me if you need a bit of lovin’ xoxo

As for me, I’m so happy this morning!! I’ve just realized there’s a name for one of the holiday practices I’ve been observing these past years!! 

I’ve yet to run the idea past my partner in these things (my son), but it makes so much sense!! Where it used to be something maybe not so palatable, I can now puta name to it with glee and reference!! Ha!!! But before I get into that, I need to tell the story of Christmases Past….

I come from a pretty big extended family where every year, from when I was little right through my early adulthood, the entire family would get together several times a year for holidays and special birthdays. My maternal grandmother was the Queen Bee, and a marvellous cook. She would prepare food for days ahead and then we’d all arrive, dressed in our Sunday best, with food and gifts. We’d feast and make merry, and lounge around… and then bring out more food and eat some more. 

As our families grew, each of my grandmother’s four kids’ families branched out and created their own versions of this same tradition. The frequency of our grand gatherings with my grandparents were less often and various families would host these gatherings and invite the gang when they could. 

My experience was most fortunate because I was blessed with two offshoot traditions… with my widowed mother and sister and our own nuclear family, and years with my mom’s sister, my aunt and her husband and family who celebrated a mixed version with a Christmas Eve, Danish-style.  I was also very close to my first cousins from my mom’s first brother, and close to my mom’s second brother.

So many beautiful, warm memories to draw from!! So much love. I’m just overwhelmed with gratitude. 

As time went on, there was a long period in our family of great grief during which time many members of the family passed away. My mom’s first brother, my great aunt, my closest first cousin, my grandmother, my mom’s second brother after losing first his wife of 2 weeks (!!) and later his 5 year old son… and all within a few years. It was just so very difficult to maintain happy festive traditions and family connections during this traumatic time. Further unexpected and early deaths of my mom and my aunt’s husband in 2000 and later our dear grandpa were the final blows to my fractured family—all from which many of us haven’t yet fully recovered.  

My sister, my aunt, my three dear first cousins (and a dear step-cousin), and I, have done our best in our own ways to raise our kids, lick our wounds, carry on and create our own traditions from what once was a very jolly and steadfast, abundantly food-filled and mostly (!) joyous midwinter experience.

As I hear from family, I’m am extremely touched by the traditional touches I see my their own growing families continue to embrace, as I recognize their origins. I’m overflowing with pride to know the adversity and pain from which these new family traditions have overcome. To my sister, dear auntie and cousins: I love you so much and I’m so proud of you. Happy, happy Christmas!

Over the next few days, my son and I will practice what I’m thrilled to have just learned this morning is called “Jewish Christmas”. We’ve sort of graduated to this naturally as one of the many wildly different traditions we’ve adopted over the years on our own. 

You see, with there being only the two of us, we absolutely appreciate being invited out. We’ve spent Christmas with many friends and family, over the years, in a number of wonderful settings, and we are grateful beyond words. Last year we spent beautiful Christmas celebrations with my son’s paternal family. At other times, we’ve gussied up our place and hosted family and friends for Christmas here with dinners and the works. It seems every year it’s different.

We even tried Festivus (from the Seinfeld TV show). My son put up an aluminum pole but we gave in after a few days and hung an ornament from the top!

As an aside, our dear friend who practices both Christmas and Hanukkah and invites a few friends to join her family to celebrate both traditions in her lovely home. We have been fortunate and grateful to have enjoyed this social, warm and loving affair a few times. We have old friends who’ve also gone, we’ve met new friends. My friend often reads about Hanukkah from a beautiful book. It is such a special mix of Jewish and Christmas fun.

Which brings me back to my new idea for my fun Jewish Christmas.

The premise of the “Jewish Christmas” isn’t a serious thing, but rather silly, according to another Jewish friend and musician who says:

“It [Christmas] is an [Jewish] introvert’s dream. You can do anything you want. No one expects anything of you. You can say home in your pajamas or go out and take a long walk or whatever. Literally no one will bother you.”

I love it!! 

This year, we are celebrating silly little Jewish Christmas in our home. I guess that means we are not celebrating Christmas per se, and doing just whatever we want. No hassle. Jammies if I want. Reading and/ or connecting… whatever comes up. 

Lots of love to everyone!!! Whatever you’re doing to celebrate or not, I hope you’re having a Happy one.❤️